Do you have difficulty saying “no”? Not sure you know the difference between an “aggressive no” and an “assertive no”? Are you always trying to be nice to others at the expense of yourself? Well, you’re not alone. In the past, I was not good at saying “no”, because I didn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings.
Assertive No
I have realized all these times of not saying “no” (when I should) were not helping me at all. I was spending a lot of time and energy for other people and not spending nearly as much time for myself. It was frustrating especially since I brought it upon myself. I slowly realized if I wanted personal time, I needed to learn to say “no”.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
We, as human beings, think that through social networks, we’ve somehow become more social creatures.
The problem with this theory is, the more we “connect” online, the less actual human interactions we have, making us actually fairly unsocial.
A new video breaks down exactly how the social aspects of human beings have evolved and transformed, showing how we’ve regressed from a social standpoint.
Shimi Cohen shows exactly what’s wrong with our social structure now, and how we manipulate how we want to be presented to peers, family members, and potential mates on social media, rather than having vulnerable and genuine conversations in real time.
Check out this video above, and take a moment to truly assess how you conduct yourself, both online and in person.
Constructive feedback is an essential element for everyone in an organization’s workforce. Giving constructive feedback is a task you perform again and again as a manager or supervisor, letting people know where they are and where to go next in terms of expectations and goals – yours, their own, and the organizations.
Constructive Feedback
Constructive feedback is a useful tool for indicating when things are going in the right direction or for redirecting problem performance. Your objective in giving constructive feedback is to provide guidance by supplying information in a useful manner, either to support effective behavior, or to guide someone back on track toward successful performance.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
I have a very tough time handling criticism … being criticized, corrected, or accused – of even the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for my daughter to make a mild comment such as, “You forgot to remind me to bring my library book,” to set me off. “What do you mean…it’s not my responsibility…I didn’t know Wednesday was Library Day…” etc., etc.
Handling Criticism
More and more, I see the connection between perfectionism, control, and anger. Zoikes, how I struggle to keep my sense of humor and light-heartedness! Here are some of the strategies that I try to use in handling criticism. If I manage to use them, they never fail me, but I don’t always manage to put them to work.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
You may be thinking: “Telling people they’re doing a good job is easy! What instructions could I possibly need?”
Giving Positive Feedback
Sure, that sounds reasonable. But in reality, most people don’t know how to give helpful, authentic, positive feedback in the workplace. Instead, they simply offer generic compliments and bland gestures of praise.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
Most people like hearing praise but some people bristle when they hear compliments and others downright hate them. What is it that determines whether someone enjoys receiving compliments or whether they turn sour at the first hint of positive feedback?
Positive Feedback
More often than not, how receptive we are to compliments is a reflection of our self-esteem and deep feelings of self-worth. Specifically, compliments can make people with low self-esteem feel uncomfortable because they contradict their own self-views.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
Cherish every moment. Live. Laugh. Love with all your might!
Let’s face it … you can’t really be assertive if you aren’t giving your opinion. But how do we do this in a way that embraces assertiveness and not aggression? And do we have to give our opinion all the time?
Giving Your Opinion
We cover several principles of what “giving your opinion” means for assertive styles of communication. Also, we cover several practical tips on giving your opinion.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
Did you know that at least 60% of your communication is non-verbal? Research indicates it might go as high as 93%. That is a lot! If we are going to become better communicators … assertive communicators … we can’t ignore the role that body language plays. Vanessa Van Edwards of Science of People joins me to discuss the basics of body language.
Body Language 101
I ask several questions of Vanessa … from the basics of body language … to how to use body language in dealing with difficult people.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
Before we get to the assertiveness skills, there are a few last steps to consider. You need to lay the groundwork for change in your life.
Preparing for Change
Before we embark on strategies to put more assertive styles of communication in our lives, we want to go over a few more suggestions to think about assertiveness, relationships, and change.
Click to Listen
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts |
