No is a word we have dreaded since we were babies. Two simple letters that have great power if used wisely. So, why do so many of us have a hard time learning to say no?
We are surrounded by a world that loves to criticize us, to manipulate us, to control us. How can we learn to say no? How can we learn to live free of guilt and manipulation?
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“Just Say No” Show Notes
In this episode, I share on the following topics:
- Your most powerful “No” is a well-defined “Yes” (2:50)
- The latest research on conflict management (8:15)
- Getting beyond being a “People Pleaser” (15:42)
- 10 Action Steps to learn to say “No” and break free from manipulation, conflict, criticism, and guilt (25:30)
- Start small (25:43)
- Say No (26:58)
- Say Yes (28:04)
- Be simple and direct (28:44)
- Expect some resistance if people are used to pushing you around (30:00)
- Pick your battles (30:48)
- Quit worrying about hurting someone’s feelings (33:10)
- Be persistent (34:57)
- Stay cool and keep your emotions in check (35:32)
- Emergency tools to use in worse case situations (38:17 … this part is a bit long as I discuss 4 techniques to deal with conflict and manipulation)
“Just Say No” Episode Resources
In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:
- Yes Man [Blu-ray]
- Scrubs: The Complete Collection
- Caryn Aviv – Say No to Say Yes
- The Art of Saying No: Kenny Nguyen
- A meta-analytical review of the relationship between emotional intelligence and leaders’ constructive conflict management
- Afzal Rahim Research Articles
- Negotiating gender roles: Gender differences in assertive negotiating are mediated by women’s fear of backlash and attenuated when negotiating on behalf of others
- Ray Friedman Research Articles
- When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
- The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships
- The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
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Question: Have questions about being more assertive? Practices that you use that work to help you say no? Or topics you would like to hear me cover? You can leave a comment below, or leave me a voicemail by clicking on the link to the right.