No is a word we have dreaded since we were babies.  Two simple letters that have great power if used wisely.  So, why do so many of us have a hard time learning to say no?

Just Say No

We are surrounded by a world that loves to criticize us, to manipulate us, to control us.  How can we learn to say no?  How can we learn to live free of guilt and manipulation?

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“Just Say No” Show Notes

In this episode, I share on the following topics:

• Your most powerful “No” is a well-defined “Yes” (2:50)
• The latest research on conflict management (8:15)
• Getting beyond being a “People Pleaser” (15:42)
• 10 Action Steps to learn to say “No” and break free from manipulation, conflict, criticism, and guilt (25:30)

1. Start small (25:43)
2. Say No (26:58)
3. Say Yes (28:04)
4. Be simple and direct (28:44)
5. Expect some resistance if people are used to pushing you around (30:00)
6. Pick your battles (30:48)
7. Quit worrying about hurting someone’s feelings (33:10)
8. Be persistent (34:57)
9. Stay cool and keep your emotions in check (35:32)
10. Emergency tools to use in worse case situations (38:17 … this part is a bit long as I discuss 4 techniques to deal with conflict and manipulation)

“Just Say No” Episode Resources

In this episode I mentioned several resources, including:

• Yes Man [Blu-ray]
• Scrubs: The Complete Collection
• Caryn Aviv – Say No to Say Yes
• The Art of Saying No: Kenny Nguyen
• A meta-analytical review of the relationship between emotional intelligence and leaders’ constructive conflict management
• Afzal Rahim Research Articles
• Negotiating gender roles: Gender differences in assertive negotiating are mediated by women’s fear of backlash and attenuated when negotiating on behalf of others
• Ray Friedman Research Articles
• When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
• The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships
• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

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If you have an idea for a podcast you would like to see or a question about an upcoming episode, e-mail me.  Also, feel free to leave me a voicemail as well by clicking the tab on the middle right of your screen.

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Question: Have questions about being more assertive?  Practices that you use that work to help you say no?  Or topics you would like to hear me cover?  You can leave a comment below, or leave me a voicemail by clicking on the link to the right.