#033 – Social Barriers (Assertiveness Pt 4) [Podcast]

It takes a touch of genius and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction. – Albert Einstein

Social Barrier

Social Barrier

Seems obvious, only an idiot would try to keep doing the same thing and expect different results, right? But the truth is I’m guilty of it, my friends are guilty, my family are guilty and I guess each one of you reading this is also guilty of the syndrome. If change were easy we would all be different, more successful, healthier, fitter, stronger, slimmer, more intelligent and definitely more accomplished. But we are not. And here’s the reasons why.

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“Social Barrier” Show Notes

Change is difficult.

Change is uncomfortable.

Most human beings resist change. The familiar becomes a false sense of security even if it is a bad habit or a behavior that doesn’t serve us. Fear prevents us from moving forward. The “what if” syndrome hits us. What if I lose money? What if it’s the wrong decision? What if I can’t keep it up? I say sod all the negatives,

Change is necessary,

Change is good,

Change is exciting, it’s thrilling, it’s energizing.

Life is ever changing, it’s dynamic, no two moments are ever the same. Our bodies are different one moment to the next, so why would we try to keep things the same? Why not embrace the difference, the different emotions, the different experiences that is life?  Why not push back against social barriers we’ve accepted as “normal” with no questions?

Successful Change

The route to successful change is in the habits we create, it’s achieved by consistent small changes which add up to desired results.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.”


If we are what we repeatedly do, then creating habits of what we want in our lives in the only way to go. But how do we create habits that stick?

1. Lack of planning

If you want anything to work well it must have a POA (Plan of Action) You need to put some thought into What, When, Why and any other question word you can think of. If you want to create the habit of exercise then you must decide what exercise, what days and for how long before you put your gear on. Failing to plan is setting yourself up to fail.

2. Trying too much too soon

When starting a new habit, you need to start small and do it often. If you want to create a habit of writing, the trick is to do a little every day. If you are what you repeatedly do, some day you can become a writer.

3. Focusing on the wrong thing

Many people without realizing focus on the wrong thing. This can often be the result of social barriers and programming.

4. Gender programming

Many women are programmed to believe that they exist for other people.  Men are taught to be the selfless warrior who denies his own emotions and limitations.  Such programming can thwart establishing an assertive style of communication.

5. Lack of Self Belief

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”

Henry Ford probably didn’t realize how famous his quotation would become but he knew how true these words were. If you go to the trouble of setting a goal, do yourself a favor and believe in ability to achieve it.

Start being your own best friend … start encouraging and believing in yourself. Nurture your attempts with positive supportive words and actions.

“Social Barrier” Episode Resources

Creative Live course on The Power of Body Language

Resources on Assertiveness:


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